What Could Have Been
by smsjp1914
Summary: Taking part during season 2 episode 19, what could have happen after Slade broken into the Arrow lair. Two bullets hit a surprised blonde female and Oliver blames himself for all the actions, will she survive, will Oliver take revenge for her? Who does Oliver truly love?
1. Chapter 1

Oliver was entangled in his fight with Slade and all Felicity could do was watch from underneath the stairs. Diggle and Sara were already knocked out on the floor and Oliver was the only one left to fight off Slade. Felicity wanted so much to help but there was nothing she could do, she winced every time Slade hit Oliver and then Slade sliced his shoulder and it made her let out a small cry and then Oliver was down and Slade was standing over him. "Don't forget who taught who how to fight kid." Slade said as he kick Oliver and he was out.

Slade was about to leave when he noticed Felicity under the stairs and she knew it, she tried to stay hidden and out of the way but it didn't work, he saw her and walked in her direction. She was so scared and out of instinct grabbed to closest thing to defend herself which was a pipe wrench and it didn't do much damage against Slade with him having the mirakuru drug in him. Felicity knew that it wasn't going to do much but she had to try. "Stupid, stupid girl. Did you honestly think that a small metal tool was going to stop me?"

Felicity stood in a frozen state and couldn't say anything, Slade had his gun pointed right at her and she knew he wasn't afraid to use it. A drip of sweat was running down the back of her neck and she was starting to get really nervous. She finally got the nerve to say something to him, "Slade please don't do this, would Shado like you to do this?" she immediately regretted the last part, Oliver had told her how important Shado was to Slade and that all of this was for her.

"DON'T SPEAK HER NAME, YOU DON'T KNOW HER." The rage was filling up inside him and you could see it in his eyes, something was speaking to him and giving him more rage than he already had. She could only assume that her was speaking to Shado in some way and it just made him more angry and he then pointed the gun at Felicity and said, "This is for you Shado." He then pulled the trigger twice and two bullets hit Felicity, one in the lower abdomen and the other in the chest. The wind was immediately knocked out of her and she went down. Slade was up the stairs in no time and she was gasping for air, trying to hold the wounds but there was too much blood coming out.

There was movement coming from the other side of the liar were the others were and Felicity could hear them, she tried to call out for help but she was in too much pain to say or do anything. She heard Oliver speak first, "Sara, Dig, you guys alright."

Dig was quick to respond, "All good here, just a few scrapes and bruises. Sara fine too just a sprained wrist. What about you, you all good?"

"Yeah, just a headache. Sara you sure you're all good."

"Yes Ollie, fine." Sara looked just fine but her wrist did look a little swollen, he knew what a sprain looked like and he knew how it felt.

Felicity was still lying on the ground and she knew she had to do something in order to get their attention otherwise she was sure to die right there in the liar. The pipe wrench she used to hit Slade with was lying on the ground next to her and she reached over and picked it up just enough to drop it on the ground in order to make a signal. Oliver heard it and immediately turned around, "Felicity? Where are you?"

He walked towards the stairs where he left her before the fight broke out, she wasn't there but he looked to the left and saw that she was lying in a pool of her own blood, "FELICITY!" he ran to her side and immediately applied pressure to both of her wounds, "Felicity, open your eyes. Stay with me, you're going to be okay."

"Oliver, what's going on? What's wrong with Felicity?" Dig was worried and he ran over to where Oliver and Felicity were. "Oh my god, Oliver, quick bring her to the table." Dig always knew what to do when someone of the team got hurt. "Sara quick, grab the medical cabinet and anything else we can use to patch up these wounds." Dig went to clear off the closest flat surface so they could work on Felicity.

Oliver picked Felicity up in one swoop and he heard her wince at the pain, "Sorry, Felicity, I know it hurts but you have to stay with us." She was quite easy to carry since she was so light and he didn't have to strain at all carrying her to the make shift operating table. "Felicity, keep your eyes open. Focus your attention on me. Felicity, look at me, Felicity." Oliver was really beginning to worry, he couldn't lose Felicity, she was his light, his friend, his girl.

"Oliver…" Felicity barely was able to get his name out, she looked really pale and so weak, Oliver wanted so much to trade places with her right now. He would be able to take the gunshot wounds he was stronger when it came to things like this, not that Felicity wasn't strong because she is one of the strongest people Oliver knows, he just didn't want her to be in all of this pain.

"Felicity, I'm right here, hold on please. I can't lose you, please stay strong for me." Oliver was at her side the entire time and didn't let go of her hand the whole time Dig and Sara worked on stopping the bleeding and patching up the wounds.

"Oliver, we need to get her jacket off, I need to see what I'm dealing with." Oliver carefully removed her jacket and Diggle cut her shirt off, she was left in her bra on top, in normal circumstances she would probably be blushing right now in front of everyone, but she was almost as white as a ghost, she looked so fragile in her state and both Oliver and Diggle were thinking the same thing.

"Sara, grab a bag of blood, we need to give her a transfusion. She's lost a lot of blood and we need to give her more. Oliver put pressure on this wound, we need to stop this bleeding and I need to get these bullets out. I don't think they hit any major arteries or organs but they did enough damage and we need to work fast." Both Oliver and Sara did as they were told, she grabbed the bag of blood and started hang it up so they could start the transfusion as soon as the wounds were patched up. Oliver placed pressure on the chest wound and never let go of Felicity's hand in the process.

"Sara hand me that blade, I need to get this bullet out. Felicity, this is going to hurt a little bit but I need to do this." Dig didn't expect a response from her but he had to tell her so she knew what was going on. Dig started to pull the first bullet out and Felicity flinched in pain and instantly squeezed Oliver hand and he didn't mind. Oliver knew how much pain she was in and he could take the squeeze if he knew it was going to help her through her pain.

"Damn it," Dig became very frustrated and it worried Oliver even more than he was already. "The bullet is stuck, I'll need to open her up a little more. Oliver get Felicity's attention on you, distract her from the pain she is about to go through." Dig started to cut Felicity's wound open a little more and she winced again, it was killing Oliver to see her in such pain.

"Felicity, look at me, no don't close your eyes. Felicity open your damn eye, please." Felicity opened her eyes slightly and Oliver saw all the pain in her eye and he started to tear up himself, "There you go, focus on me, focus on my voice. Hey, fight for this, fight for me. Don't leave me, I need you. I need you here with me."

Dig almost had the bullet out, he was working fast but he was working carefully. He didn't want to put Felicity in anymore pain but he had to get this done fast, he still had the other bullet to dig out. "Alright, got it, Sara can you stitch this one up I need to get the other bullet out and fast. Oliver start the blood transfusion, she is way too pale and she needs blood now, I'm just going to have to work fast to get this bullet out." Oliver and Sara did as they were told. Sara couldn't help but notice how much Oliver cared for Felicity, Oliver was beside himself this whole time and Sara hated to see him this way but she knew that in order to get him back to his old self they needed to get Felicity back to her normal self, well as much as they could in the current circumstances.

The first wound was stitched up and Sara was placing gauze on it so no one could irritate the stitched and open the wound up anymore. Dig was just finishing up getting the second bullet out, "Alright, I got the second one out and it doesn't look like this one hit anything major either, Sara can you just stitch this one up as well and we will just have to monitor her through the night."

"Of course, Dig I think there are some pain meds in the top drawer on the cabinet, I think we should give her a couple so she can sleep through the night with as little pain as she can." Sara continued to stitch up the second wound and Dig agreed with the pain meds. Oliver stopped the blood transfusion because her color was back to normal and Dig said that it was done anyway. Yet Oliver still looked as worried as he did at the beginning of this.

"Oliver, we were able to stop the bleeding and get the bullets out, she's alive and that is all we can ask for right now. She's going to need time heal but I think she is going to recover soon. Oliver she's alive, lets just be thankful for that at this moment."

"Diggle, I am thankful that she is alive, but its my fault she's in this condition in the first place. I thought I was going to lose her." Oliver started to tear up a bit over Felicity, he was blaming himself for something that was truly out of his control.

"Ollie, don't blame yourself for Slade's actions, this is not your fault and you can't blame yourself for what he does. He's in a bad place and he's taking his anger about Shado's death out on you and he shouldn't be. But you cannot blame yourself for his actions."

"Sara, how can I not. Shado is dead because of me, I stood in front of you instead of her and that caused her death."

"Ollie, stop. Ivo shot Shado, not you. Stop blaming yourself for other people's actions."

"I can't lose her, I love her." He never admitted it before, but Diggle always knew that Oliver had feelings for Felicity and Felicity's feelings for Oliver were always apparent, but Oliver had never said it out loud and he had never told Felicity how he felt. Sara put a friendly hand on Oliver's shoulder, they had a huge history and she cared for him, but she knew as well as Dig that Oliver had strong feelings for Felicity and tonight just put them into perspective for everyone in the room.

"We know Ollie, we know. Why don't you rest for a bit, I'll stay with her and keep her comfort for the time being."

"I can't Sara, I can't leave her side right now. But thank you so much, I appreciate all the help you did tonight with her. Thanks so much." Oliver grabbed Felicity's hand in his own two and couldn't believe that this happened to her, he promised her he would keep her safe and then she gets shot and almost dies. There is nothing safe about that, he has failed her. "I'm so sorry Felicity, I never meant for anything to happen to you."

"Oliver, stop it." Dig interrupted his self-hatred rant.

"Dig, I can't just stop it, I've put you all in danger and now this happened,…" Dig interrupted him yet again.

"No stop, look at Felicity, her eyes are fluttering. It looks like she might be waking up sooner than we expected."

"Felicity?" she was still a little pale but that is very understandable. Oliver looked down at her with his sorry eyes and was happy that she was alive.

"Oliver, I'm going to take Sara to the hospital she needs to get her wrist looked at this is a really bad sprain and that way you guys can have some time alone." Dig left Oliver rand Felicity in the liar while leading Sara upstairs.

"Hey Dig, Sara, I just want to thank you again for everything you did for her. Take care of yourselves tonight."

Oliver was just left in the liar with Felicity as she was waking up, she was extremely weak yet Oliver couldn't stop admiring her beauty, "Oliver," Felicity was trying so hard to speak but he could see the strain in her face and he didn't want to make her hurt herself any more.

"Felicity, don't try to speak. You don't need to say anything now, I'm just glad you're alive and with me." He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, she shred what he can only think as a happy tear and spoke just to her, "Let's just live in this moment right here, right now." Felicity reached over and took his hand in her own.

In a very soft whisper she talked to Oliver, "thank you, Oliver, I love you," Oliver just sat there the rest of the night holding her hand while she drifted back to sleep, he heard those three words and wanted so much to tell her the same thing, but he had to do it when she was awake. They just lived in that moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Felicity had been sleeping for a good part of the past twelve hours, and Oliver was by her side the entire time. She was beginning to stir a little and Oliver could only think that she was having a nightmare and he was blaming Slade for her torture. He hated to see her in such pain, he didn't want to wake her up but he knew he had to in order to release her from the pain of Slade. "Felicity, hey, it's okay. Felicity wake up, I'm right here." She woke up in a complete panic and was fighting Oliver to let her go, she honestly thought she was in danger with him. "Hey, Felicity, hey relax. It's me, Oliver."

"Oliver,…" she started to tear up and then could not hold it in anymore she completely let her guard down and let the tears flow out. Through tears and gasps for breathe Felicity was able to get out a couple of words for Oliver, "I'm sorry Oliver."

"What do you have to be sorry for, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you? Your hurt because of me, and I'm so sorry this happened to you." Oliver was very caution to not open her stitches up but he embraced her in a loving hug and didn't want to let her go.

She hugged him right back and didn't care that the area around her stitches was hurting she didn't want to let him go either, she wanted to stay in that moment forever. "Oliver, I got myself shot. I said something that put him off the edge and got myself shot, that's what I'm sorry for. I can't imagine what this whole thing must have been for you."

"Felicity stop, none of this is your fault. I should have been there to protect you, I promised myself that I would be able to protect you and I failed you, for that I'm sorry. I promised that I will protect you from him and anyone else who comes to hurt you."

"Oliver, I don't blame you for any of this. Slade is the one who had the gun, he's the one who put two bullets inside of me. I tried to fight him, I knew it was no good, I wouldn't go down without trying, I, I saw you go down, I watched you fight him. I saw you get hurt, I tried to hide, I tried, I, I, …" she was getting caught up in her words and could let anything else out, Oliver saw her struggle and just took her hands in his.

"Felicity, I know, I know. Don't worry about that now, the important thing is that you're alive and you're here with me. I thought I lost you and I'm glad that I didn't, I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

"I feel the same way," she was coming around back to her normal self and was just glad that Oliver was there with her. She was dreading the next question that came to her mind, but she just had to know, "Oliver, how bad was it. I need to know."

"You lost a lot of blood, Dig had to give you a blood transfusion. The first bullet got stuck on something and he had to open you up a bit more to get it out, the second bullet came out easier but you lost a lot of blood I can describe how much it actually was, I was so scared for you."

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me the blood, I need to see it. I need to understand what I lost."

"Are you sure, it's not a pretty sight."

"Oliver, I know it's a weird question to ask, but something inside of me needs to see it. I need to understand everything that happened to me. I guess it's just the computer part of my brain that needs to know, not that part of my brain is a computer because that would be impossible but…" she was babbling again and showed Oliver that she was getting back to her normal self.

"Felicity, I understand, I'll show you but don't say I didn't warn you." Oliver stood in front of Felicity and braced himself to be her support, he knew that she wouldn't be able to hold her own weight when she stood up. Felicity knew the same thing, she was weak, she slowly pushed herself off the table and stumbled into his arms. Oliver steadied her enough so she could at least stand by herself. "whoa, okay, here we go." she was holding on to his biceps and they were so close in that moment she wanted to close the distance between them but she wanted that to be under different circumstances, she looked down instead so Oliver wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes. She wasn't fast enough because he noticed something in her eyes, "Hey, you okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine, let's just get this over with so I can put my weird mind to rest." Oliver placed one arm around her waist being careful not to touch anywhere near her one wound and he held her hand in his other hand so that she could steady herself as they walked to where her blood pool was. He didn't want her to see it but he knew she wouldn't be able to get over this until she saw it. They reached the spot near the stairs and Oliver saw it for the first time with Felicity, the span of blood on the floor was indescribable he had no words for it. Felicity was unnaturally quiet when they saw it, Oliver looked down at her and saw her eyes start to water but what came out of her mouth next surprised him, "I should be dead."

"What?"

"Oliver, I should be dead. Do you see how much blood is on the floor here and all the blood that is around the table, that's a lot of blood and I should be dead. How did I survive this, how am I alive right now, how, how,…" she was starting to babble again but not in her normal way, this was a panic kind of babble and Oliver hated where this was going. He reached over to her and brought her into a gentle hug and just let her cry in his arms, she needed to get these tears out and he knew that.

"Felicity it's alright, you're alright." He stroked the back of her head while she continued to cry in his arms. He hated to see her cry, it was probably one of his weaknesses but she needed this. "ssshh, you're going to be just fine."

"Oliver?"

"It's okay, I'm here."

"No Oliver, I'm bleeding." Oliver pulled back from their hug and immediately looked down and saw that her abdomen wound had somehow popped open. He also noticed that she was not as steady as she was before, the sight of her blood coming out of her body had made her woozy. Her knees began to buckle under her weight and Oliver picked her up before she fell, her carried her back to the table and laid her down so he could take a better look at her abdomen.

"Felicity, this is going to hurt a bit but I need to see what's happening and I will probably need to stitch you up again which is really going to hurt."

"I understand, do what you need to do Oliver."

He took the bandage off her stomach and five of the stitches Sara put in her had opened up, they must have popped open when Felicity stumbled off the table in the first place. He looked around the table to find the stitches and to find something for Felicity to bite down on, he spotted a small towel close by. "Oliver what's wrong, how bad is it?"

"I have to stitch up five of your original stitches, I know this is going to hurt but I need you to be strong for me, it's going to be hard for me to do this knowing I'm putting you through pain. Here I want you to bite down on this every time you feel pain." He folded the towel up a bit and handed it to Felicity, she didn't know what kind of pain to expect but she knew Oliver had to do this.

Oliver started with the first stitch and Felicity immediately bit down on the towel, it hurt Oliver to see her like that, but if he didn't stitch her back up she would lose more blood. He was moving along with the stitches and he was on the last one now, the pain in her face was still apparent but he was done now. "Alright, done, that was the last one. Let me just bandage it up and then you need to rest."

Oliver what cutting the gauze to size and taping it onto her stomach but she wasn't looking too good in color, her skin was paler now and she felt cold to the touch, "Oliver, I'm not feeling to well. Something doesn't feel right, Oliver, I think, I, …" she trailed off in thought and Oliver knew where this was going, she lost consciousness and he lost it.

"FELICITY, no don't do this, Felicity wake up. Please."

**A/N: I didn't do this before but I do not own Arrow or the characters, I just borrowed them for my own pleasure. I wrote this chapter pretty late last night and I didn't know where it was going at first, but I feel it had to go this way. I hope you like it please review and I hope you enjoyed.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, sorry its been a while since my last update, I've been working a lot the last week and haven't had a change to finish writing this chapter. I know some of you were worried that the last chapter was my last, sorry if I scared you guys but no that was not the last update and this chapter won't be the last chapter either. I know I said that this was taking place during Season 2 Episode 19, well it started out with that but it's going to go in a different direction now. I also understand that the characters aren't acting always like they would in the show, but this is how I feel they would act in these certain circumstances, I hope you will still like the characters. Thanks for reading and please review as always. As always I own nothing.**

"Felicity, please." Oliver desperately tried to get Felicity to wake back up, but it was no use. She was unconscious and it was going to take a lot for her to wake up. Suddenly he heard the door open at the top of the stairs and out of instinct grabbed his bow and an arrow and pointed it at the person.

"WHOA, Oliver, it's just us put that down before you hurt someone."

"Dig, Sara, I thought you might have been Slade coming back."

"No, I don't feel he'd be coming back this soon. What's got you so spooked out now?"

"Felicity, I had to fix her stitches and now she's unconscious. Something isn't right, she's too pale for my liking. John what do we do?" Diggle could tell that Oliver was in a bad state because he used his first name instead of his nickname when he addressed him.

"They only thing we can do is take her to the hospital, but you have to understand they are going to ask questions and they are probably going to ask why we didn't bring her there in the first place. Are you ready for that?"

"We can think of a cover story later, if it's going to save her life we have to do it. Let's go."

"Alright, I'll go grab the car." Diggle hurried up the stairs and was out the door in no time. Sara was standing out of the way but she had to say something to Oliver before they left.

"Ollie, it's going to be okay. I'll get my dad on the case he'll understand. But first we need to get her to the hospital."

"I know, but I don't want to put your father in a bad place."

"You're not doing anything, I'm the one who is going to ask him. Plus he has a soft place in his heart for Felicity, he'll do it for her no questions asked."

Oliver hoped Sara was right, he knew Quentin had a soft spot for Felicity. He looked back at Felicity and carefully picked her up as to not move her too fast, he didn't want the stitches to pop open again, but he moved as quickly as he thought he could. Sara lead them upstairs and held the door open so Oliver could get through easy, he paused for a quick moment and laid a kiss on Felicity's forehead. It was a sweet moment, he needed to do it, and he wanted Felicity to know he was with her the whole time. Sara didn't want to interrupt the sweet moment but she had, "Oliver come on, we need to go now, you'll get another chance to do that later, let's save her life first."

Oliver agreed and he carried her to Diggle's car, he placed her in the backseat on top of his lap while Sara jumped in the front with Diggle. Diggle was careful not to hit too many bumps in the road, but he was also aware that they needed to get to the hospital soon. Dig could see Oliver and Felicity in the back of the car every time he looked in the rearview mirror, he was just as worried as Oliver was about Felicity, she was family to him ever since they started this team.

Sara called her father on the way to the hospital and Oliver could hear that she was on the phone but couldn't tell for sure what she was saying, only that she would call again when they know something when the get to the hospital.

They arrived at the hospital five minutes later, Sara jumped out to open the door for Oliver. He very carefully carried Felicity into the emergency room, with Diggle and Sara right behind him. They immediately found a nurse, "Please help her, she unconscious." Sara spoke before Oliver could get the words out.

"Place her here and may I ask what happen to her?" the nurse asked once she saw the stitches in Felicity.

"She was shot, we removed the bullets and got her stitched up but a couple of the stitches popped open and we had to fix the stitches she seemed fine to begin with but then she lost consciousness and she turned really pale." Dig told the nurse.

"Why wasn't she brought in when she was first shot?" the nurse asked.

None of them had thought of an answer for this question, they agreed that they would have to think of something, but they didn't think they would have to answer it right away. The three of them looked around at each other while the nurse was stilling waiting for answer. "There was no time, we were stuck in an abandon building in the Glades we didn't have a working phone and the car was broken down. Luckily we have a first aid kit in the car and we were able to get the bullets removed and get her stitched up." Sara answered, she was always good at thinking on her feet and both Oliver and Diggle were grateful she was able to come up with something that believable.

The nurse gave them all a look that they weren't sure if she actually believed them but it passed as she went to work on Felicity, the doctor was at her side now as well working. He spoke to them next, "Alright never mind why she wasn't her sooner, she is here now and we have to do whatever it takes to keep her alive now. You three can wait in the family waiting room down the hall, we need to get your friend here into surgery to see what's going on on the inside."

Oliver, Diggle, and Sara were ushered to the waiting room while the doctor and the nurses wheeled Felicity off to surgery. They sat in silence for the first hour just wanting to hear good news about how the surgery had gone, but no one had come to talk to them yet. Sara was the first to break the silence, "Ollie why don't you get cleaned up, we can let you know the minute she is out of surgery." Oliver had some blood on his clothes that was transferred when he carried Felicity, it was some leftover blood that hadn't gotten washed off of her.

"I can't go anywhere until I know for sure she is okay," he didn't even look up when he spoke to her, he was too worried to even move from that one spot.

"You being here isn't going to change anything, she'll probably be in surgery for a couple more hours at least. You could be home and back before anyone noticed."

"SARA STOP," Oliver had raised his voice at her out of frustration, but regretted it immediately, "sorry, I didn't mean to yell. But I have to be here, I have to be here when she comes out."

"Ollie it's okay I understand, I didn't mean to pry." she was seated next to Oliver now and placed her hand on his back to comfort him. He was so broken up about this and Sara could tell it, she placed her head on his shoulder because she didn't know what else to do to comfort him.

"Oliver, she'll pull through this, she'll make it. Don't forget she's strong," Diggle spoke up and walked over to where Sara and Oliver were sitting. His words were encouraging but there was still a worried tone about them, he wanted to be strong for her sake but he also wanted Oliver not to beat himself up about the whole situation.

"Dig, how am I going to live with myself if she doesn't?"

"This isn't your fault Oliver, and you need to stop blaming yourself."

"I brought Slade into her life, into all of our lives, this is in part my fault and I swore I would protect her and then this happens, she gets shot and I wasn't there to protect her."

"Oliver enough, stop doing this to yourself, none of this is going to help her. She is going to need us to be strong for her when she gets out of this, and she is especially going to need you to be strong for her. Now snap out of this self-pity spiral of yours and prepare yourself for what's to come with her recovery." Sara didn't mean to sound so harsh but Oliver needed to hear it that way to get him to snap back to reality and not live in what he could have done and plan for what he is going to do next.

After that they sat in silence for what seemed like hours but only an hour had passed since they had their conversation, Sara sat next to Oliver holding his hand within her own two. She felt bad for blowing up in his face but she still had to comfort him in her own way. She loved him and didn't want to see him hurt like this, she was also hurting herself over the whole situation, but she had to deal with Oliver's feelings first before her own. Felicity was like another sister to her and just like Oliver she hated to see anyone of the team hurt.

Diggle was the first to break the silence, "I can't do this, I can't just sit here and wait. I need to get some air, coffee or something."

"Coffee sounds like a good idea, why don't you take a walk and get some coffee for all of us. I'll call you if any news comes about Felicity." Sara was trying to be strong for everyone, she knew that Oliver wasn't going to say anything until the doctors came to talk to them about the surgery, so she had to give Dig the reassurance that it was okay for him to leave for a bit.

"Oliver, I'll be back I just need a little air, be strong for our girl." with that Dig left the waiting room and was on his way to get coffee for the three of them.

They were the only people in the waiting room and yet it still felt like they weren't alone, Oliver didn't want to talk about anything for the fear that someone might hear about their other lives. He is always so cautious when it comes to talking about Arrow stuff and he didn't want to slip up tonight because he wasn't thinking straight and tell the whole secret to the first stranger that walked through that door. But he had to let Sara know what was on his mind, "Sara, I'm sorry."

"Sorry, for what?" she was confused, what could he possibly be sorry for.

"I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not myself tonight,"

"Oliver that is not something you need to be sorry for. Someone from our team is seriously hurt and I wouldn't expect for you to be yourself. If you were yourself you would have gone after Slade and if you did that she might not be here in the first place getting this help. So I'm glad you weren't yourself tonight" Oliver looked at her and then he looked down at her hands, he completely forgot that Sara was hurt throughout this whole ordeal as well.

"Sara, your wrist."

"It's nothing, just a simple sprain. When I was here earlier they had to reset my wrist and then gave me this brace, don't worry I told them I fell down the stairs, they didn't suspect a thing. But I can't say the same for Felicity. I could tell the nurse didn't completely believe the story I told her, I'm lucky she wasn't the nurse that tended to me earlier, otherwise she would sure not believe a word I said."

"I'm sorry, I didn't check to see if you were okay this whole time, I was just distracted by Felicity."

"Oliver stop apologizing, Felicity is hurt way worse than I am you should be distracted by her, plus I know you love her and hate to see her hurt." those words hit Oliver really hard, the fact that he loves Felicity. He never said those words to her before, he wanted to when she was shot but he also wanted her to remember when he told her. Yet he felt guilty for loving Felicity because he loves Sara as well and he saw the look in her eyes when she said that he loves Felicity.

"Sara you know I love you too right, and Dig. I love everyone that is a part of this team."

"I know you love us, but we see the way you look at her, I see it. She has a different kind of spot in your heart than we do. Damn she has a different spot in my heart, I love her like another sister what's not to love about her."

"There's so much between us though you know that, I don't want to hurt you."

"Oliver, we have a history, we have a big history but that doesn't mean your history has to be your present. If you want her to be your present that's fine, I can see why you would."

"Sara?" Oliver was a little confused by her words, what was she saying and was she just saying this because Felicity was hurt.

"Don't wait to tell her how you feel, you might not get another chance to do so and doesn't she deserve to know that her feelings for you are not one-sided. I love you Ollie, but I can't be her, she is something special."

"I love you too and I never meant to hurt you, please don't hate me."

"Ollie I could never hate you, we've had a good run and maybe it's my turn to step down and maybe it's not, we won't know for sure unless we try something new, but don't let this one go, don't let her go." Oliver knew that some part of Sara was hurt by this but she was right, what they had was a history. Some of it was good history and some of it was bad history but whatever history it was they still loved each other and wanted the best for each other. Right now Sara knew that Felicity was best for Oliver and she had to take a step back, which she was fine with as long as Oliver was in a good place. She leaned over and placed a kiss on Oliver's cheek, he responded by grabbing her for a hug.

Just as they both released from their embrace the door to the waiting room open, "Miss Smoak's family?" was all they heard before they both stood up. "Miss Smoak's surgery was a success, she suffered some internal bleeding but we were able to get that under control. Although the bullets didn't hit any major arteries or organs, they still did enough damage to cause the internal bleeding. What you guys did with removing the bullets probably was one of the only things that saved her life, they would have put more pressure on her and getting them out relieved some of the pressure but not before causing her to bleed a little bit." Oliver and Sara were both speechless as they listened to the doctor talk about Felicity's surgery. "She's going to have a large uphill battle moving forward since we had to open her up wider to get the bleeding under control, but the most important thing is that she is alive now."

"When can we see her?" Oliver spoke up wanting to see her as soon as possible.

"She's in the ICU right now recovering from the surgery, I can allow one of you to go see her now and then once she gets her own room she can have more visitors, which one of you would like to see her first?" Oliver looked at Sara for reassurance to know she would be okay if he went to see her. Just before Sara was going to speak Dig arrived with their coffees.

"Hey, what's going on? Is she okay?" he questioned as he handed both Oliver and Sara their coffees.

"Everything is fine for now, she's out of surgery and is in the ICU right now but only one of us can go see her in there. Once she gets her own room the rest of us can see her." Oliver answered him.

"Oliver you should go see her, we'll be fine here. We can wait for her to get her own room." Sara told him and gave him the reassurance he needed in order for him to leave her.

The doctor led Oliver through many halls and turns and finally into the ICU, he led Oliver into a small room where Felicity lie motionless on a bed. The sight of her hooked up to all these machines broke his heart, but he knew that she was fine for the time being and that he should be thankful for that fact. "I'll leave you to be alone with her until we get a room for her." the doctor spoke before leaving Oliver to be with her by himself.

"Thanks doctor." Oliver walked over to Felicity's beside and dragged a chair close to the bed, he sat there and grabbed her hand. He brought her hand to his lips and brushed a light kiss against her knuckles. He knew she wasn't going to wake up for a while but he didn't care, he was going to stay there until he knew she was awake and fine. He looked up to her face and noticed that her eye lids were fluttering a little bit so he only assumed she was dreaming about something. He watched her sleep for the rest of that night and didn't leave her side one bit, he just lived in that moment with her yet again just like the first night when they first removed the bullets. This time was different though, he knew that she would be okay when she awoke this time, she was in good hands here.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I've had mixed reviews on my writing but I'm glad there are people that like what I'm writing it means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always review it.**

Everything was blurry to her eyes, she couldn't completely see where she was but could only assume it was the hospital because she tried to move her left arm but it was restricted by a tube sticking out of it. She looked around the tiny room she was in and there was no one else in there with her, but her vision was starting to clear up and she knew for a fact that she was in the hospital. The beeping machines next to her were enough to give her a headache but she knew they were there for a reason.

Being aware of what she now knew was an IV, Felicity tried to push herself into a sitting position but it was useless she winced as soon as she put pressure on her hands and just fell back against the pillow, "Damn it," she remarked under breath and let out a small cry because of the pain.

She wiped the tears away from her eyes before anyone walked in and saw her, she heard talking right outside the door to her small room and she didn't want whoever it was to see her crying. She heard that familiar deep, strong voice she knew as Oliver talking to the doctor, "Thanks doctor." Shortly after that remark he emerged in the room, Felicity tried to pretend that she was still sleeping she didn't want to face reality just yet.

"Felicity, are you awake?" Oliver quietly asked, she was busted. She felt a tear escape her eye as she opened them and then saw the hurt in Oliver's eyes as he wiped the tear away from her face. She wanted so much to be strong in front of him but she couldn't hold her breakdown in, she broke down yet again in front of Oliver and she hated herself for it. He sat down in the chair next to her bed and grabbed her right hand in his own, "Hey, ssh, its okay no one here is going to hurt you. Hey look at me."

She obeyed and brought her gaze up to his, those eyes, she could get lost in his eyes all day long. Felicity quickly moved her gaze down to her stomach where most of her pain was coming from. "It hurts, really bad."

"I know, you just have to relax. They are moving you to a room upstairs in a little bit. What can I do for you now?" he asked wanting to do anything he could to make this easier for her.

"I need to sit up, I can't lie here anymore. I can't do it myself," she didn't even have to finish her question, he placed an arm under her knees and another behind her back and repositioned her into a sitting position, he placed a couple more pillows behind her so she didn't have to struggle to stay in that position. "Thanks, that's better."

"You know you scared the hell out of me, I thought you were gone for good. I can't express how happy I am that you made it." Oliver looked away from her, he didn't want to show weakness in front of her and he could feel his eyes welling up with a couple tears. She reached over for his hand and grabbed it in her one free hand.

"Hey, let's not think like, I'm here, you didn't lose me. Hey, now it's your turn to look at me. Oliver, look at me." He wiped the single tear that escaped his eyes away and turned slowly to face her, "Good, now listen to me very carefully. You will never have to know what its like to lose me, I'm harder to get rid of than you think."

"Don't joke about this."

"I'm not joking Oliver, I'm here so let's just live with that for now. Can you do that?"

"Yes, but this isn't done until he's done. Can you understand that?"

"Of course, I want to get him just as much as you do. He hurt you as well, and I hate him for that."

"My hurt doesn't compare to your hurt, so don't worry about me."

"I worry about you every single day, every time you leave as the Arrow I worry, so this is nothing compared to that worry."

"I hate myself for that, I brought you into my world and I wish it wasn't this way."

"You wish you never met me, is that what you're saying here?" she started to think real hard about what she was going to say next, "You don't want me part of this team? You know damn well that you won't get far without me, is that what you want?" she started to raise her voice, and Oliver was worried she was going to raise her blood pressure with her new found anger. "Oliver what do you want?"

"Felicity, you have to understand something, I don't regret meeting you, but I do regret the danger you face every day because of who you're associated with. I also understand that you being a part of this team is a huge thing, I know I wouldn't be able to do half the stuff I do without you, but I hate to see your life in danger because of me." Felicity looked up at him hurt in her eyes.

"Oliver, do you honestly believe that I blame you for this, were you the one holding the gun? Did you pull the trigger that placed two bullets in my body? Come one Oliver, stop this nonsense, and stop blaming yourself for something that is out of your control." her words were harsh but she didn't stop there, "Would you be saying these things if John were here instead or me?" he gave her a look and she continued, "That's exactly what I thought, why am I different then?"

He thought hard before he answered her, he didn't want to say anything else to upset her but he had to come up with a reason that he himself didn't know yet, deep down inside of him he knew the reason was because he loved Felicity in a way that was more than just a friend, but was he ready to tell her that now, "Felicity, you're different because you're innocent in all this, you're the behind the scenes to John and my actions and you can't…" he tried to finish his statement to try to explain where he was coming from.

"I can't defend myself right, that's your reason. I'm sorry I'm not as inclined with the fighting part of our world as you or John, but why does that matter in this situation. This situation was out of your control, you were knocked out when everything went down. This situation was out of your control, you were knocked out when everything went down. You didn't get a chance to defend me, if anything its my fault for getting in the way," he opened his mouth to interject but she spoke before he could, "Don't try and argue with me on this one, I got in the way. I knew better than to saw what I did, I provoked Slade whom was the one who shot me, can we just agree that the only one to blame in this situation is Slade and Slade alone." she had a frustrated tone to her words but she finally got through to Oliver that he was not the one to blame for Slade's actions, or so she thought.

"You know that I will always blame Slade for this, he pulled the trigger twice and put you in here, that is always going to be on him, but I am always going to worry about you and try to protect you as best I can." before she could argue or accept what he was saying a nurse came into the room, yet she gave Oliver the look that said this conversation is not over yet

"Miss Smoak are you ready to be moved to your room upstairs?" the nurse was a short red haired older lady, she was so sweet and kind to Felicity and she really didn't pay attention to Oliver in the room. "My name is Shirley and I'll be your nurse for the rest of the night, I've come to get you ready to move upstairs."

"Thanks Shirley, how long do I have to stay in here by the way?" Felicity asked, hoping the answer wasn't too long but she knew better than and that she probably would be in there for at least a week.

"I'm sorry Miss Smoak, I can't answer that for you. That's a question you'll have to ask the doctor, he'll be making his rounds early in the morning. Now let's get you up to your room." she unhooked the last machine and unlocked the bed wheels. She started to wheel Felicity out of the room, down the hall and into a huge elevator. Oliver behind the entire way.

They arrived at the room about five minutes later, she had a large private room on the fifth floor. Shirley got Felicity settled and hooked back up to all the machines, she checked over her bandages and cleaned the wounds which made Felicity wince a little, then put new bandages on the wounds and left Felicity in the room with Oliver.

They sat in silence for a while after the nurse left, Oliver didn't want to speak first so he waited Felicity out. She was fidgeting with her blanket and contemplating how she was going to address the last comment Oliver had said. "Oliver, I know you have the mindset that you have to protect everyone who is close to you and I respect that." he went to interrupt her, she held up her hand to stop him "I'm not finished. Now I understand where you are coming from with this protecting thing, but you have to give me a chance to do it for myself first. Can you do that for me?"

"Felicity, you don't have any training in fighting, how can I,"

"Train me then, teach me simple self-defense. That way if we are ever in the field again and problems arise I can protect myself and we won't be in a situation like this again." he didn't answer right away but she could tell he was thinking about what she just said "Oliver, I trust you more than anyone with my life, I can trust you to train me. Come on it would put your mind at rest a little when something else happens like this. Maybe not against someone like Slade, but against anyone else yeah. What do you say?"

"I'd say you are one stubborn women, but you are in no shape to train anytime soon."

"Thanks captain obvious, but once I'm healed can we agree that you will train me, Oliver?"

"I want you to be safe, and I want to protect you, but I know this is something that you need and I will do this for you but only after a doctor clears you of a full recovery, deal?"

There wasn't much to argue with there, he was giving her what she wanted so she had to accept it. "Deal."

"You look tired, why don't you sleep." she gave him a wary look and her understood what she meant by that look, "Don't worry, there will be someone here with you at all times, I'm here now so you can sleep." Felicity was indeed very tired and she trusted Oliver enough to allow herself to sleep for a couple of hours at least.

**A/N: I know this chapter was a little short, but I have ideas for the other chapters and I feel that I needed to end this on at this point. There will definitely be more chapters so I'll try to update again as soon as I can. If anyone has ideas for future chapters let me know and I can try to fit them in. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I want to say thanks to all the followers of my story, and all the favorites I've gotten it means so much to me, I will continue writing as long as people continue to like what I'm putting out there. Thanks again and as always please review it.**

Sara was sitting in a chair off to the side of the room, she was reading something on Felicity's tablet and didn't even notice that Felicity had woken up. "Sara?" Felicity's voice was weak because she was so tired and drain, she really didn't get good sleep that night. She kept waking up from nightmares, but around 3 in the morning she finally fell back asleep knowing that Oliver was sitting with her and now it was about 7:30am and Sara was in his place instead.

"Felicity, hey, how are you feeling?" Sara was now right at her bedside.

"Like I've been shot, and then punched in the gut." Felicity tried to lighten the mood by playing it as a joke but Sara wasn't buying it, she had concern written all over her face.

"Hey, this isn't funny."

"I know, I just don't know how to deal with a situation like this. I'm not used to going out and getting hurt, not that I'd want to go out every night like you guys and get hurt, not meaning that you guys get hurt every time you go out, I'm sorry, I'm babbling and I'm going to stop talking in 3, 2, 1." Sara had a small smile on her face, it always amused her when Felicity started her babbling.

"It's okay don't apologize for being yourself. It's nice to see that we have some part of your normal self back. But you were shot twice, so I don't expect everything to go back to normal overnight. You need time to heal and we are all going to help you get through this."

"Thanks Sara," for the first time Felicity noticed the brace on Sara's wrist "hey, how are you doing by the way?"

Sara was confused at first by the question because she was fine, but she noticed that Felicity gaze on her wrist, "Oh, yeah, it's nothing. I'm fine, you are the one to worry about. Now I'm going to get the nurse so she can check your dressings, she said to come get her as soon as you woke up, I'll be right back."

Sara left the room leaving Felicity alone for about a minute or so. Felicity saw her tablet sitting on the chair that Sara occupied minutes before, she tried to gauge whether or not she had the energy to get up and grab it. She knew the night before that she couldn't sit up on her own, but she thought that after some sleep she would be able to do it. She went to push herself up from the bed and clenched her teeth at the pain she felt around her stitches, the movement she made was pulling on her stitches. Before she could move anymore Sara was back with the nurse and the nurse was ordering Felicity to lay back down. "Miss Smoak, you need to lie still and take it very easy, you can't be moving like this without help for the first couple of days. We don't want to irritate your stitches." it was still the same nurse from the night before, Shirley.

"I was only trying to see if I could move by myself, but I understand its going to take time, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to worry about dear, but the next time you want to move use your call button or I'm sure one of your friends would gladly help you." Sara was more than willing to nod at the statement and Felicity smiled back at her, Shirley was getting ready to check the dressing on Felicity's wounds, "Now this might sting a little bit because I have to clean the wounds, but its going to go by fast." Shirley wasn't wrong as soon as she placed the cotton swap on her wound Felicity winced a bit, but she quickly bit down on her lower lip to take her mind away from the pain. A few short minutes later Shirley was done and was putting new bandages across the stitches, "Alright, all done, the doctor should be in within the next hour, he's just getting started on his morning rounds. I'll check on you after he's made his way around."

"Thanks Shirley," Felicity stated as the nurse left the room, she turned her attention towards Sara "would you mind handing me my tablet, there is something I need to check on right away?"

"Of course not, here you go, I hope you don't mind I was looking into something on it earlier."

"No that's fine, I'm just glad someone thought to bring it here in the first place."

"Yeah, that was Oliver, he knew you would want it as soon as you woke up."

"Speaking of Oliver, where is he now and what about John," Sara hesitated to answer her because she knew that Felicity was not going to like the answer she was about to give, "Sara, what are those two up to, please just tell me."

"Felicity, try not to get mad," Felicity gave Sara a look of impatience and waited for her to continue, "okay, while you were in and out last night and early this morning John started looking into where Slade could have gone and he got a lead on a warehouse in the Glades, so as soon as Oliver was sure you would sleep through the rest of the morning he took off with John to scope out the warehouse and I've been by your side ever since he left so you weren't alone at all." Felicity was silent, which was so unlike her, "Felicity, say something."

"I don't know what to say Sara, I don't know if I should be glad or mad at those two. I know they want to get Slade, trust me I want to get him as well, but they can't just go after him without back up."

"Well they both did go, so it wasn't like Oliver went in there alone, John is right by his side."

"Yes, but Slade has the mirakuru and Oliver and John can't take him on by themselves. They need you with them and they need someone talking in their ears from the outside, telling them what to expect from the building they are about to enter, they need the whole team not just half of it, they need us and I feel useless being in this hospital bed not doing a damn thing to help, I feel bad that you can't be there to help them because you are babysitting me,-"

Sara interrupted Felicity babbling, "Whoa, calm down there. First off, I'm not babysitting you, I'm here for you as a friend. No one deserves to wake up in a hospital room alone, that's why I'm here and it was the only way Oliver would leave. Second you are not useless, it may feel like it at the moment, but you were shot and none of us expect you to get right back to work after this ordeal. Lastly Oliver was going to do this no matter what, any lead he gets on Slade he is going to take it very serious and now that Slade put you in the hospital this feud has just gotten so much worse. We need to trust Oliver and John on this one, they can handle themselves and if they get themselves hurt they will have to answer to me which is not going to go well."

"I know, you're right, but this doesn't change the fact that I'm still angry with them for going into something this serious with no backup, and they will have to answer to me as well if they get hurt, one little scratch and I will go off."

"Alright, hot head, lets worry about you first though, okay." Sara tried to calm her down so her blood pressure wouldn't rise, that is the last thing they need right now. "You okay now, have you settled down a bit."

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm completely calm," Felicity took a couple of deep breaths to show Sara she was okay and calm for the moment, she then remembered she had her tablet on her lap. She was going to check to see if she could find any leads on Slade but John already beat her to that one, but she was not going to stay out of the loop for long. She opened her tablet and immediately went to her phone tracking app, she wanted to know where exactly the rest of her team was. She located their phone at the lair, which was a shock to her because Sara had told her that they got a lead on a warehouse in the glades, so either something went wrong and they were back at the lair or they left their phones at the lair so Felicity wouldn't worry where they were, but either scenario worried her. Then the track on their phones started to move and they were headed back into the city, she calmed down a bit and closed her tablet.

Sara noticed the frustration on Felicity's face and began to get worried, "Hey, you okay, what's going on?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to know where they are and from the looks of it I don't think the mission went very well, right now they are headed back to the city, I hope they got something."

"Me too, we need to hope for the best right now."

"I know, you're right, I'm just getting antsy. I just want to go home, but I know that's not going to happen anytime soon."

"I understand you want to go home, but we don't want you going home before you are ready." at that moment there was a knock on the door and the doctor from the night before entered the room.

"Hello there Miss Smoak, I'm Doctor Daniels and I preformed your surgery last night. The surgery was a success like I told your friends before, but now that you are awake and aware I'll tell you how it went. We had to open your one wound on your abdomen up more in order to get the internal bleed under control, so that area is going to be a lot more tender than your chest wound. Both wounds however are going to take a while to heal so you will have the stitches is for at least ten more days and we will address them at that point, I want to keep you here for the next 3-5 days depending on how well you do with therapy you may be able to leave after the 3 days but if you don't improve your mobility the way I would like you'll have to stay the 5 days. You are young so I expect that you will take to therapy well and I can get you out of here as soon as possible. I know this is a lot to take in but don't worry you have a very supportive team of nurses and doctors here for you and from the looks of it very supportive friends as well."

"You're right this is a lot to take in, and its very overwhelming at the moment, but yes my friends are very supportive and I hope to get out of here very soon, no offense to you doctor or anyone else here, I just don't like hospitals very much and I try to stay away from them. Not that in this certain circumstance I could avoid the hospital or would want to, and I'm babbling again which will stop in 3,2,1." she turned away from the doctor trying to hide her embarrassment.

"It's very normal for someone to feel overwhelmed in a situation like this, I would be more worried if you were taking this in stride like it happens every day." Felicity almost flinched at that last statement because in a way that is a very high possibility in their line of work, they are put at risk every day because of the life they led but she held her composure in front of the doctor and she was glad he didn't seem to notice a change in her, "I'm going to finish my rounds and I'll call to the physical therapist and see if we can get you started on simple therapy for today, is there anything else I can answer or do for you, Miss Smoak."

"Felicity, can you just call me Felicity."

"Of course, Felicity is this anything else you need before I leave?"

"No, I think I'm good for the moment, but if I think of something I'll let you know."

"Alright, just take it easy," he turned towards Sara now and spoke to her, "don't allow her to get up on her own."

"Got it doc, don't worry about a thing she won't be doing anything by herself for a while." and at that the doctor left the room to finish his morning rounds. Sara was about to return to the chair she was sitting in before when Felicity spoke up.

"Sara, umm," she hesitated what she was about to say.

"Yes, do you need something, what can I do."

"Well I really need to use the bathroom, this is embarrassing to me, I'm sorry, I can't believe I have to ask for help to use the firkin bathroom."

"Hey don't worry about it, at least I'm here and its not one of the boys right."

"Yeah I guess, I would be even more embarrassed with one of them, thanks."

Felicity slowly swung her legs to the side of the hospital bed and sat up by pulling on Sara, Sara planted her body in front of Felicity and just allowed her to pull herself up to the sitting position. Just doing that little motion left Felicity almost out of breath, Sara saw the strain on her face and paused, "Are you okay to continue,"

"Yeah lets just get this over with," Sara braced herself yet again and allowed Felicity to pull herself up to a standing position, Sara then draped Felicity's free arm over her shoulder and the arm with the IV in it held onto the walking pole. Sara placed one of her arms around Felicity's waist to steady her on the walk to the bathroom, the walk was slow but Felicity didn't stumble too much. They made it to the bathroom and Sara helped Felicity inside and then waited outside the room until she was done. It took longer than normal given the circumstances and Sara didn't mind waiting, about 7 or so minutes later Felicity was done and Sara was ready to help her back into the bed. Once they got back to the bed, it was like everything was drained out of Felicity she looked weaker than she did when she first woke up and Sara could tell that she needed her rest.

"Hey why don't you try and sleep a little, you look exhausted, I'm sure you could use the rest after that little walk you just did."

"I feel like I've been sleeping for ages, I don't want to just sleep the day away."

"Felicity, you can use the sleep, it's okay to sleep the first couple of days.'

"I suppose you're right, a couple hours of sleep won't hurt now, but as soon as Oliver and John get back I want someone to wake me up,"

"Don't worry you'll be the first one to know when they return, I'll make sure of it."

"Thanks Sara,"

"You're welcome."

"Thanks for just being here as well, I don't think I could go through any of this alone."

"Of course, now please get some rest."

Felicity allowed herself to sleep for a couple hours, only until the boys returned, then she would want to have a little chat with them about what they were doing that morning.

**A/N: I know Oliver wasn't in this chapter like at all and it may seem unlike him because he would be the last person to leave Felicity in a situation like this, but I wanted Felicity and Sara to bond a little just by themselves, so that is why this chapter went the way the way it did. I'll try to update the next chapter as soon as I can, thanks for reading.**


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